How on earth can May be here? Even though this has been the unhappiest year of my life, time still seems to fly by. Although his absence has been excruciating, I can’t believe that Bill has been gone nine months. Generally, I find time dragging when the experience is painful or unhappy. That hasn’t been the case with this pain. Time has continued its rapid pace.
I’ve been wondering if that means I am doing better than it seems, but I don’t think so. I’m afraid it means that I am getting old. My mother used to say that the older you get the faster time flies. I thought that was silly because time moves at the same pace for everyone all the time. Today, though, I’m not so sure.
What is it about aging that accelerates the passing of time? Is it that as our days on earth grow shorter they move past more quickly? That seems a bit cruel.
For me, the speed of time passing seems connected to the fact that my days now are filled with more meaningful activities. Oh, it isn’t that what I do now is more important than what I did when I was young; rather, I’ve come to relish things that I once took for granted.
My hydrangea is much smaller than my mother’s was when I was a kid, but the blooms somehow capture and hold my attention and force gratitude to well up within me. My daughters are no more important today than when they were kids, but I appreciate the joy of knowing them and loving them with a much keener awareness. Friends seem more important, and I am more grateful than ever for my family. Food and drink are things I attend to rather than simply consume.
It would be nice if this greater awareness of life was a sign of maturity and greater spirituality. The truth is, though, I think I have a greater awareness that every celebration with friends, every Easter, every glorious sunrise means there will be fewer of them. The stupidity of youth, at least my youth, is that you act and live like life will simply go on and on. It won’t, and knowing that is an amazing gift.
Rev. Michael Piazza